::sigh::

I know that terrorism is winning if we allow ourselves to become afraid.  I know that the chances of something happening to me or to someone I know are relatively slim.  But honestly, 2004 has felt very oppressive thus far.  The repeated problems with BA flight 223; the fingerprinting and photographing of non-Americans upon arrival in the US; the crash of the plane from Egypt to Paris; the random, stupid murder of a policeman in Leeds by the man he was trying to arrest for car theft; the re-opening of the investigation of Princess Diana’s death at a time when it seems to me to be best left alone…

I realize that these events are not all on the same scale, nor are they all necessarily ill-advised.  But I am sad to say that I am starting to feel very bad about living when there is so much fear, and even more sad that I am starting to pick up on it.  Truthfully, I am starting to not want to travel - there’s a part of me that just wants to curl up in a snug house and turn my mind away from all of this.

But I can’t do that.  None of us can.  I don’t want to get on a high horse or anything like that - this is simply what I keep reminding myself.  If I give up and despair, then the terrorists have won.  They’ve achieved their terror.  And the best way to combat that terror is to live as strongly as I can, to be happy, and to enjoy everything that I would have enjoyed before.  Not to be heedless of the dangers and not to take unecessary risks, but to refuse to radically alter my life.

Honestly, even though I’m not hugely political, this is one of the big problems that I have with Bush’s policies on terrorism.  I understand that caution and attention are necessary.  But so many of the things going on right now seem to be geared towards bringing out fear, distrust and anger in the American population, which is just what the terrorists want!  By keeping us on the tense level of “orange alert,” or by making it more and more difficult for *any* foreigner to enter the country, the government has succeeded where physical attacks have failed.  After September 11 - yes, there was anger and fear, but the nation also stood together and other countries reached out and demonstrated their friendship; none of this is what a terrorist would want.  But now, we are disliked by many other countries, we are becoming increasingly alarmist and suspicious of anyone who doesn’t fit a certain profile, we are restricting our movements and growing irately isolationist; in short, we are creating the state of mind that terrorist attacks seek to create.

Caution is necessary.  But can’t the government (and individuals) find some way to be cautious without losing the “war against terrorism?” At some point, don’t you just have to have trust in human nature?  Maybe I’m being hopelessly idealistic.  But can’t you have faith in people in general while mentally allowing for the inevitable few that don’t deserve that faith?  And if you can’t, how can you go about your life?  You become… well, Howard Hughes. (Perhaps not an exact example, but a related one.)

::pause as she regroups, then a chuckle:: Well, I’ve committed a writing faux pas - I’ve written something that I can’t conclude.  But this entry was more meant to be a jotting-down of my thoughts than anything else.  And, might I add, despite the somber nature of this entry, I mean for it to be hopeful.  I think that we can overcome the fear that seems to be setting in and that 2004 can prove to be a good year despite the tense beginning.  We just have to consciously choose to do so.